I posted this on my Xanga recently. Thought you all might want to read it too:

Have you guys heard about the 200+ kids that were murdered in their own school in Russia? Of course you have. Everyone all over the world knows about it. I personally think it's sick. For some terrorist to walk into a FREAKING ELEMENTARY SCHOOL and hold all the kids, the teachers and parents then kill them. What have these children done to deserve this kind of punishment? They aren't even old enough to full understand the word hate. They don't know anything about politics or anything that would link them to the government. So why them? Was it to get our attention? Well you got that, but at a terrible price. My sympathies go to those families who have lost a loved one. It's really sad when you can't even go to school without feeling vulnerable. Thank God I live in a country like Canada.

Don't wanna be an American idiot.
Don't want a nation that under the new media.
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal mindfuck America.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Convincing them to walk you.

Well maybe I'm the faggot America.
I'm not a part of a redneck agenda.
Now everybody do the propaganda.
And sing along in the age of paranoia.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Convincing them to walk you.

Don't wanna be an American idiot.
One nation controlled by the media.
Information nation of hysteria.
It's going out to idiot America.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Convincing them to walk you.

I heard on the news tonight that last Wednesday, two christian missionaries were shot. They were about 23 or so and were sleeping on the beach when someone came up and shot them both in the head. They now have a "suspect" in custody. What kind of sick freak just walks up to someone and shoots them? There was no sign of struggle of abuse of any kind. So what was the motive/reason behind shooting two innocent people? Sad thing was, they were getting married in a month. They had their whole lives ahead of them and then some asshole comes along and takes it from them. 

She put him out
Like the burnin’ end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart
He spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Until the night

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said “I'll love her till I die”
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby

Lalalalalalala
Lalalalalalala
Lalalalalalala

The rumors flew
But nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years
She tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night

She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby

Lalalalalalala
Lalalalalalala

Lalalalalalala
Lalalalalalala

Lalalalalalala
Lalalalalalala

Lalalalalalala

This posting was inspired by a friend of mine. Within the past year, I've seen her slowly decend from good to bad. Recently she was pretty damn close to getting herself arrested. She doesn't see what is wrong with her behaviour. I do.

What is the facination with mind altering substances? I completely understand how it feels and how it's a quick and easy way to escape reality, but WHY do we feel the need to escape reality?

So far this summer, the only time I've had a drink was during a trip to a friend's cabin. Even then, we didn't get intoxicated enough to pass out. I remember everything that happend and half the time I was just stumbling around and babbling for fun. Having an alcoholic substance in my hand was my excuse for acting so stupid.

During the school months, I find it hard not to be planning parties where we all get some money to buy alcohol. It's a way to ease our minds. There is SO much that is expected from me; from teachers, friends and especially family. I don't want to let them down and so I put added pressure on myself. Drinking helps me have fun for a night and forget all of that.

This past May, I had an epiphany after a night of hardcore drinking. I was the only one who wasn't drunk. Therefore I had multiple shots of rye and vodka. I ended up passing out multiple times and had to be taken care of by my friends. Luckily I was spending the night at one of those friend's houses and she was EXTREMELY nice about it. Another friend of mine was being a complete asshole about the whole thing and was about to leave me at a bus stop; alone and passed out. I vowed to change my ways. This was a MAJOR wake up call for me. I don't NEED alcohol to make friends or escape from reality. I have so much to live for and if I make stupid decisions now, it will hurt me in the future. I'm already paying for slacking off last year in school. This year I've decided to work hard and prove to myself that I CAN do well in school and I'm NOT stupid. I'm going to do what I want and no one will influence me otherwise. I am my own person and I choose my own destiny. If this decision to better my life results in my friends getting mad or hating me, I can deal with being alone. They aren't real friends anyway if they can't accept my decisions. I won't completely give up alcohol but I'm going to concentrate more on school this year. I also won't go overboard. I now know what I can handle and I won't push myself. Luckily I've started and given up smoking withing a month and a half. I'm pretty sure I won't do it again. Bad experience there as well.

Getting back to the reason I've written this post. My friend has gone through so much in the past year and a half. She tells me not to worry but I can't help it. She has been smoking for quite some time now. She says she wants to quit but has not shown any intention of slowing down or stopping. Without the will, it will never happen. She fell in love and slept with a guy who broke up with her about a week later and it was quite a messy break up. Unfortunately I was no help to the matter because I hated him and continually bad mouthed him. I thought he was a complete asshole and trying to tell her and protect her but I realised that she had already been hurt and I can't help that. She has also been smoking pot and was nearly arrested. I'm afraid that she is going to end up hooked on drugs and/or smoking and working at a fast food restaurant for the rest of her life. I'm at wits end and I know I'm not her mother but she won't listen to me. No matter how hard I try. You keep saying you'll quit but I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice, you're only saying that so I won't worry. You don't have the will to quit and you're going to end up dead. I just want you to know I care about you because you are a good friend of mine. You've already become distant with quite a handful of your friends, including me. Don't sever those ties completely or you'll be all alone with no one to blame but yourself.